Friday, October 28, 2011

police blotter: anything goes

IDLE CHATTER, NOTTINGHAM COURT: A Nottingham Court woman told police that she heard a suspicious vehicle idling outside her home around 9:20p.m. June 16.  Officers responded and observed that the idling sound was actually the woman's refrigerator.

ASSIST, MAYFIELD ROAD: An extremely upset resident called police at 2:10a.m. June 17 because her cat was stuck behind a couch. Responding officers safely rescued the cat.

SUSPICIOUS SITUATION, BUNKER HILL DRIVE: A complainant told police at 9:57p.m. June 12 that his doorbell rang, but when he answered it no one was there.  However, he stated he could see what looked to be blood on the walkway.  An officer investigated and determined the substance was likely pizza or spaghetti sauce.  There was no damage to the complainant's property.

SUSPICIOUS SITUATION, BRITTANY PLACE: A woman told police at 4:50p.m. May 26 that there was a red bag in the street in front of her house with "infectious waste" written on it.  Police found only an empty cup and cigarette butts in the bag.

LOVE THY NEIGHBOR, EAST OAKLAND ROAD: Police were called to the 24000 block of East Oakland on May 9 and again on May 13 due to conflicts between neighbors.  The first time, a resident claimed to have taped their neighbor shining a laser pointer into his house, and later, the police were called due to a threatening exchange.  No charges were warranted, but according to court records, people on both sides of the fence have already participated in a mediation program in an attempt to resolve their differences.

STOOL SAMPLE, W. LIBERTY: A W. Liberty Street female spoke with police at 5a.m. May 14 about testing her stool sample for parasites. The woman was carrying her stool in a Ziploc bag.  Officers would not perform any such test, and the woman decided to go to the doctor on Monday for testing.

NORTH ROYALTON: A 66-year-old woman reached a new low July 20 after North Royalton police removed her from a bingo game at Holy Trinity Ukrainian Autocephalous Church on State Road.  After a two-year absence from the game, the woman paid $21 for a bingo package and took a seat in the church hall. According to police reports, she swore at another player, who then got up to complain to management. While speaking with bingo staff, the woman accused the player of cutting in line and pointed her finger into the player’s face.  Because of the woman’s colorful history of bingo outbursts, security personnel decided she is no longer welcome on the church property to play. Police issued the woman a misdemeanor citation for disorderly conduct.

COMPLAINTS (SOLICITORS), CAMBRIDGE COURT: Residents reported June 9 about 1p.m. that two white males wearing aprons came to their door asking them if they wanted salad.  They were tracked in a red car and advised that they needed to register with the village.

CRIMINAL MISCHIEF, COOK AVENUE: Someone put cheese and lunchmeat all over a vehicle overnight between June 10 and 11.  A threatening note was also found.

CRIMINAL MISCHIEF, WEST ROAD: A caller informed dispatchers on July 23 that someone propped up a cardboard cutout of a cat in the roadway between lanes east of the roundabout near West Road.  An officer confiscated the cutout.

"ROUGH" SCHOOL DAY: A Garfield Elementary School student contacted police around 10:52a.m. May 7, and said that he had been having a "rough" day so far with his teachers.

ARMAGEDDON, SYCAMORE TREE: In the wake of Harold Camping's prediction that the Christian rapture would occur on May 21 and the end of the world would begin, the world and media was abuzz last week while following the story.  Apparently, the affects of Camping's prediction stretched to Medina.  A Sycamore Tree Drive resident stopped an officer on May 17 and desired to speak with him about Armageddon.  No action was taken.

Welcome to Ohio.

1 comment:

  1. I've been saying for years that Ohio is the only Foreign Country I've ever been to... ;-D

    Funny stuff!